The John Palm Show

After careful consideration, I am not going to give my son the nickname “Meanus” because it rhymes with “Mean Bus”. Kids at school can be so cruel. Why take the chance?

My new hobby is taking portrait photos of people’s cats. Sometimes it’s difficult to get them to “hold a pose” while my flash warms up. But it is highly rewarding when you get that perfect shot.

My company is called Fancy Cat Photography.

I specialize in taking pictures of people’s cats wearing bow ties. This is a niche. My motto is: no snap of the camera until that bow tie is snapped on. It’s kind of a long motto. Anyhoo…

Female cats are also required to wear bow ties. No one really knows (by looking at the picture) if they are male or female anyhow. It’s not like I’m taking pictures of their genitalia or anything like that. Well, I guess I do take a picture of their genitalia but it’s only for internal administrative purposes.

Please tell all your friends with cats.

Imagine that you’re 95 years old, on your deathbed. But before you take that last breath, you get a wonderful gift: the ability to go back in time and talk to the younger you who’s reading this story right now and help that younger you have a better career and , more important, a better life.

What would that wise 95-year-old tell you to do?

Now listen closely because this is the best career coaching you’re ever going to get: Whatever you think that 95-year-old would urge you to do, DO IT. Starting now. When the time comes, you want that 95-year-old to be proud of you. If he/she says you were a success, you were. Trust me, of all the performance appaisals you’ll ever have, that’s the only one that really matters.

Once a month I pick a day to stay in my pajamas ’til noon. As I melt back into the Massage Lounger 4000 Deluxe, my coffee seems to taste better, the poptart sweeter and the newspaper contains only good news. Just as my body is engulfed in the waves of pleasure I am interrupted by those bitter words: Sir, this is a store and I’m going to have to ask you to leave.

I boldly ignore my Brookstone nemisis to savor the last few minutes of Pajama Day… for mall security is on the way.

Early to bed and early to rise, keeps Starbucks in the green.

Early to bed and early to rise, makes your boss wealthy and wise.

Early to bed and early to rise, thanks to my double dose of Ambien.

AMBIEN is a treatment option you and your healthcare provider can consider along with lifestyle changes and can be taken for as long as your provider recommends. Until you know how AMBIEN will affect you, you shouldn’t drive or operate machinery. Be sure you’re able to devote 7 to 8 hours to sleep before being active again. Sleepwalking, and eating or driving while not fully awake, with amnesia for the event, have been reported. If you experience any of these behaviors contact your provider immediately. In rare cases, sleep medicines may cause allergic reactions such as swelling of your tongue or throat, shortness of breath or more severe results. If you have an allergic reaction while using AMBIEN, contact your doctor immediately. Side effects may include next-day drowsiness, dizziness and headache. It’s non-narcotic; however, like most sleep medicines, it has some risk of dependency. Don’t take it with alcohol.

Please see additional important information. Please refer to the full prescribing information.

I want to look at the world through the eyes of a child. But the lady and the organ donor place still refuses to put me on the waiting list.

You thought you were a good leader. But I just happened to be going that way anyway.

Monster listing of Christian comedians 

The Christian Comedian Index site is up at: www.christiancomedyindex.com

Project Status: Site up and looking for interested participants

Current Needs: People interested in contributing to the project in the areas of:

• site development,
• data base management,
• marketing or
• creative content

Bobby’s Email: bobby@christiancomedyindex.com

Bobby’s Blog: www.bobbysweezy.wordpress.com

Project Coodinator: Bobby Sweezy

Is Bobby Sweezy a pen name or my alter-ego?  Who knows.  I do know that bobby is what we call a “cry baby”.

Bobby is the author of the Christian Comedy Index. 

Bobby is NOT so much a “Christian comedy fan” as he is a “Christian comedy analyst”. 

What does that mean?  It simply means that he was not hugged much as a child.

Bobby’s Email: bobby@christiancomedyindex.com

Bobby’s Blog: www.bobbysweezy.wordpress.com

See more about Bobby’s childhood here.