The John Palm Show

Call it what you will: preaching, teaching, sermonizing, instruction or simply lectures. The modern church is obsessed with one man (and very rarely women) standing up in front of a group with something to say.

Granted, part of the function of a body of believers is to equip believers to do the work of the ministry AND to preach the gospel to the ends of the earth. However, are these functions best accomplished through the lecture method?

The “lecture method” of teaching has become so commonplace with the modern church and society that most people can’t even name another method. Can you name another method of teaching?

Here are two for your consideration:

The teacher as a guide and stimulator, not a lecturer, nor a dispenser of information. For much of human history, educational methods were largely informal, and consisted of children imitating or modelling their behavior on that of their elders, learning through observation and play. Call that “learning by example” or the “demonstrative method”. This is probably what is referred to in Deuteronomy 11:18-21.

The teacher as one who presents questions and stimulates debate, not just giving easy or simplistic answers to often complex questions. Plato describes a system of instruction that he felt would lead to an ideal state. In his Dialogues, Plato describes the Socratic method. This method is dialectic. Meaning there is a dialog (back and forth) between people exchanging ideas and arguments about a topic or idea.

 As I sit there ever Sunday morning and squirm in my seat like a 3 year old, I ask:

What’s with the Church’s obsession with lectures?

• It’s efficient - conducive to mega church ministry building.
• It works well under time constraints - other methods simply take too long and we don’t have that kind of time to burn.
• It’s comfortable - one guy does all the work, the rest simply sit there, listen and then off to the super buffet.
• It can be kept “light and fluffy” - and palatable for the masses.

The bottom line

The Sunday Morning Lecture may not be the best way of teaching, but it’s here to stay. Change always comes slowly, especially with religious institutions. The Church’s obsession with lectures will not end until we come to terms with the following:

• our obsession with experts - and what I call The Reverse Reformation back to Papal/Pastoral (read Pope) authority.
• our obsession with knowledge - knowing does not necessarily lead to doing, but it’s a heck of a lot easier.
• our obsession with spiritual gift of teaching - if I hear one more time how much so-and-so just loooooves Pastor Jeff’s teaching (substitute Pastor Tom, Dick or Harry) I’m gonna [censored]. Man, nobody liked Jesus’ teaching. He caused major division and discomfort every time He spoke.

Until we lose our obsessions, I’ll see you at the Sunday morning lecture. I’m the one that’s fidgeting like a like a 3 year old.

Would you believe that this is my most popular post? And it was a joke.

Are there that many people googling “pocket knife for kids”? It certainly looks that way.

So here are some real tips.

Is your son ready for a pocket knife?

1. NO, he is not. If you have to ask then, dear lord, please don’t hand that boy a pocket knife.

2. Not too sharp. That’s how other parents will refer to you. And it’s how your kid’s first knife should be. Rub that knife about 30 times on the concrete sidewalk. Dull that baby down so the accidental wound won’t we so deep. (Note: I have changed my mind on this one. See comments and you’ll understand why.)

3. The first cut is the deepest. Most boys only cut themselves with their pocket knife once. That first cut basically teaches everything you need to know about pocket knives.

4. Boys to men. It was a horrible music group, but it is a good description of (part) of our job as parents. Turning boys into men. And coddling and overprotecting will not get you there.

There you go. Some real content on pocket knives. Good luck.

I just wrote a check to the IRS (now the U.S. Department of the Treasury) for over $14,000.00. A tax on doing well by risking my own money in the stock market. My property tax this year is over $6,000.00. My homeowners insurance is over $5,000 and my flood insurance is $1,500.

• Fed Income Tax:  $14,000
• Property Tax:       $  6,000
• Homeowner Ins:  $  5,000
• Flood Ins:             $  1,500
• Total Bill:        $26,500

This is a portion of what it costs me to live in the sunny state of Florida, part of the great and powerful United States of America. And you, Mr. Smarty Pants Politician, are going to give me a 18.5 cent break on my gas? What?

I agree with editorial writer Kathleen Ingley who says:

Suspending the federal gas tax, as Sen. John McCain proposes, sounds so great. And makes so little sense. The 18.4-cent-a-gallon tax, which hasn’t risen in years, is a sliver of current prices. If you used 50 gallons a week, you’d save a paltry $9. But the overall impact would be huge: America would lose millions needed to maintain our aging highway system. The cost-benefit equation adds up only if you’ve been sniffing fumes at the pump.

The problem is that the ol’ bait and switch will probably work.

My new hobby is taking portrait photos of people’s cats. Sometimes it’s difficult to get them to “hold a pose” while my flash warms up. But it is highly rewarding when you get that perfect shot.

My company is called Fancy Cat Photography.

I specialize in taking pictures of people’s cats wearing bow ties. This is a niche. My motto is: no snap of the camera until that bow tie is snapped on. It’s kind of a long motto. Anyhoo…

Female cats are also required to wear bow ties. No one really knows (by looking at the picture) if they are male or female anyhow. It’s not like I’m taking pictures of their genitalia or anything like that. Well, I guess I do take a picture of their genitalia but it’s only for internal administrative purposes.

Please tell all your friends with cats.

They (being the powers that be) are demanding that we add more hours to the school day. Surley this must be the problem. Not enough of a bad thing.

You can’t get to excellence by simply adding more mediocrity.

It’s hard work to dig in and look for root causes versus external symptoms. For heavens sake… doctors don’t even do that anymore. Don’t get me started on how the medical profession has slipped into the muck of mediocrity. It seems that all doctors do is prescribe treatments (read pills) that will (hopefully) relieve external symptoms without too many nasty side effects (read nausea, rashes, diarrhea, brain hemorrhage, etc, etc). And that, my friends, is exactly what the school system fixer uppers are attempting with their plan to add hours to the school day.

There’s no pill for that!

What will they do with the extra time? Add feel good curriculum targeting spiritual and emotional development. So here we are, the same failed (failing) system is not happy messing up the 3 R’s. Now they want to bring mediocrity to your children’s spiritual and emotional life.

What’s the root cause of the school system failure? Lack of parenting. Not parenting skills, just parenting time.

Time. Time. Time. Time with your kids.

Don’t let them take any more of that away. Step up and reclaim that time with your kids.

There are no second chances.

Next: The Dangers of subcontracting your child’s spriritual discipleship to the Youth Pastor or Christian School system.

Are you home from work yet, Dad?

We work like fools while our children actually want to be with us.

Then, by the time we retire they can hardly stand us!

I’m just thinking out loud here, but maybe we’ve got “retirement” all mixed up. Why not retire right up front when our kids are young and need us around? Then go back to work when we are old, bored and pumped with energy from all that Viagra.

That’s what my “grocery bagger guy” at Publix did.

And he always seems happy to see me!